The Half Marathon
Franklin Roosevelt once said that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. I don’t know about anybody else, but I have a healthy fear of running thirteen miles with a case of the shits. I’ve been up since three this morning and have twice already ventured to the basement bathroom for sessions...
The Simpsons Presents: 2 Phat 4 U
(Originally published February 18, 2017) Scene 1: (A fashion designer, Donovan Fletcher (voiced by Eric Idle), is walking around a Springfield flea market looking for a brilliant idea. He has been tasked by his company to discover the next big idea for kid’s clothing. The huge sign above the fairgrounds is misspelled “Flee Market”...
Reflections On Me Too
(Originally Published February 7, 2019) A couple of months ago, in the midst of all the consternation over the Supreme Court nomination of Brett Kavanaugh and the arresting testimony of Dr. Christine Blasey Ford before congress, Donald Trump of all people said something that caused me to think a great deal. (I know, I...
There Goes Rhmin’ Simon
(Originally Published July 8, 2018) Quebec is flat. I mean, my God Quebec is flat. I look out the window of my father’s Buick and there is just gray emptiness, spread out in every direction excepting a few large mounds of trees and earth some miles distant. Coming from the peaks and valleys of...
Darkness at the Edge of Town
(Originally published September 3, 2019) March 18th, 2014 was a day that would change my life, though not in the way I intended. It was the day that my first novel, Slip Sliding Away, was published and I truly believed that it was the beginning of a great adventure. I had written a topical...
Good Old Desk
I was on a date this past summer when the young lady across from me asked if I held any religious convictions. I replied, “They haven’t been able to pin anything on me yet, see?” By the look on her face I sensed that her question had been sincere, not to mention my Edward G...
The Long And Winding Road To Empathy
(Originally Published October 2016) I had a moment of self-realization this morning. It lead me to a truth I’ve more or less known about myself for quite some time, but let me start at the beginning. When one works as a scheduler, one becomes rather cozy bedfellows with chaos and frustration. There’s nothing quite...