The Aristocrats
So a woman walks into a talent agent’s office and says, “Boy have I got an act for you!” “Do you have an appointment?” The old man asks brusquely, still reading his trade papers and taking puffs from his gun powder black cigar. “No sir, but when I say this act will change your life,...
A Black Flag Over Newgate
(London Times Afternoon Edition: October 27th, 1890) “It is just past eight in the morning on a grey, dreary October the twenty seventh, the year of our Lord eighteen hundred and ninety. A crowd has gathered outside the walls of Newgate Prison awaiting the raising of the black flag, indicating that another wretch has met...
Love & Chocolate in the Afternoon
It is summer, deep summer, In the sticky darkness of my bed, Listening as the thunder rolls down the hills, That a hard truth, like the lightning sky, Becomes illuminated. I look at the woman lying beside me, Asleep, unburdened, and unabashedly snoring. I take in every curve of her body, Every strand...
Robohon Don’t Fly
In the few seconds it took Robohon to descend the one hundred and twenty seven feet from the promenade of the Brooklyn Bridge to the East River below, one wonders what might have occurred within the machinations of the small robot. Was it questioning why it’s new guardian had condemned it to the murky waters...
The Half Marathon
Franklin Roosevelt once said that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. I don’t know about anybody else, but I have a healthy fear of running thirteen miles with a case of the shits. I’ve been up since three this morning and have twice already ventured to the basement bathroom for sessions...
The Simpsons Presents: 2 Phat 4 U
(Originally published February 18, 2017) Scene 1: (A fashion designer, Donovan Fletcher (voiced by Eric Idle), is walking around a Springfield flea market looking for a brilliant idea. He has been tasked by his company to discover the next big idea for kid’s clothing. The huge sign above the fairgrounds is misspelled “Flee Market”...